[Drawings] Self Portraits

Been practicing the drawing...

[Illustrated poem] Stepping Forward, Falling Back

She drags the past behind her,
While it seethes and snarls at her back.
She stops, thinks for an instant.
It seizes a chance to take her again
And once more she falls into its grasp,
Frantically scraping the dirt in the dark.

Indescribable violence wrenches her hope,
The bonds to old pain cut deep,
Escape lies far from her panicked fingertips.
She cries out in her frustration.
Desperate sobs of pain, fear, despair.
Chained to the past she searches for a key.

She tries to convince herself it isn’t happening,
That if she closes her eyes she’ll be safe.
But she can’t stop her fall,
She scrabbles while her stomach lurches.
All she has to cling to
Is the thing that’s pulling her down.

[Poem] Different Light

I saw a new side to you tonight,
I can’t tell you how I feel.
How do I explain what it meant?
How can I help you see what I saw?

I suppose I should try one day,
I need to find the words first.
How do I make it make sense?
How can I convey the memories?

It’s too much right now.
The time is never right.
But one day you will know,
See yourself in a different light.

[Poem] Just This

It begins with sobbing humility
Displayed in infantile weakness,
Until a shroud of expectation descends.
The struggle begins early,
Always a battle without a foe,
Sporadic facade versus discrete interior.
Scars are never worn with pride,
They burrow into delicate skin,
Bursting the surface when probed.
Moments of exception infiltrate,
Form decorations on a ragged uniform
Worn under duress for a lifetime.
Victories swell momentarily,
Exposing breaks in boundaries,
Steady progression is enabled.
It is a valiant attempt,
Any audience would applaud,
Should anyone care enough to watch.
As the uniform begins to fade,
And directions become choices,
There is a glimpse of hope.
But some things will never be easy,
Even with the end in sight,
Success appears terrifyingly impossible.
Clinging to fragile roots,
Old memories against a worn mind,
Beaten to submission for a last time.
There will be no finale to remember,
Only a definite and unavoidable
End.